Only by grace can we enter
Only by grace can we stand
Not by our human endeavour
But by the blood of the Lamb
Into Your presence You call us
You call us to come
Into Your presence You draw us
And now by Your grace we come
As I was writing down my thoughts, the above song "Only By Grace" kept playing in my mind. Yes, it's by the grace of God that I am alive each and everyday, and I thank God for the gift of life. Words cannot express how great God is in my life eversince I knew him 18 years ago. God has always been there for me when I need Him whether in the past, now, or future. I can always rely on Him, and let Him take charge whatever situation that I am in, and He knows the desires of human's heart because He is the one who made us.
Though I really want His Masterpiece to be delivered at full term, it will mean that His Masterpiece will be a Christmas baby. Though it will be easier to remember the birthdate, I hate the fact that many will focus on Christmas instead of His Masterpiece's birthday. It's kind of like "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas, and by the way, Happy Birthday!" Rodney and I didn't like that. But my doctor doesn't want me to deliver past my due date which means that if I want to avoid a Christmas baby, I have to deliver His Masterpiece earlier which I am quite reluntant too. God has His plan, and in the bible it says that His plan is to prosper us and not harm us. So I commit my prayer unto God and let Him decide when His Masterpiece needs to be delivered. We had our favorite lunch at the Korean restaurant, and when we reached home, I felt that my waterbag burst. I wasn't sure if I was going to deliver but anyhoo, Rodney and I went to Legacy Hospital to confirm. We reached the hospital at 2pm, and I was wheeled to a room where the nurse monitored me to see if I was on active labor. From 2.30pm - 3.30pm, the contraction was intense in every 5 minutes, and then the nurse told me that I would be in labor soon. As I was not prepared for delivery, it wasn't really a good idea to have heavy lunch. I puked when the contraction started, and it was terrible. The contraction hurt but the breathing technique did help a little to ease the pain. Then I was wheeled to the delivery room where the contraction got more intense, and I remembered telling the nurse in my agony "I want epidural, it hurts!" For those who have experienced intense contraction, you know how painful it is, and I really want my epidural!!! On the other hand, I had bad experience with epidural when I had my littlehon 3 years ago. The labor was 16 hours then and even with epidural it still hurt!! Few days before, I was still thinking about not having any pain medication for my labor but on the other hand, can I manage the pain without epidural? My pain level wasn't that great but I guess epidural will make it less painful for sure, and there wasn't pain free for sure. While I was thinking whether to use epidural or not few days ago, then out of sudden, the scene of Jesus hanging on the cross appeared in my mind. Somehow, God is reminding me that Jesus was literally nailed on the cross without any pain medication, and He was bleeding to death! Is God trying to tell me that I can go through the labor without epidural or what?
Seriously I don't want to take any chances, it really hurt!! I kept telling the nurse "It hurts, where's the epidural?" Then in my daze, the nurse told me that "Hon, you don't need any epidural, your baby is coming out!". In my heart and mind, I was like "WHAT!!!! NO EPIDURAL!!! You know how painful it is or not!!!" The nurse held my hand and told me to push when the contraction comes. The on call doctor came when he checked that the dilation was good enough for His Masterpiece to be out. And on the 3rd push, His Masterpiece was delivered at 4.58pm, and I was surprised that it was only 2 hours of real labor compared to 16 hours when I had my littlehon! Immediately, His Masterpiece was placed on my chest for good 30 mins. Rodney was really surprised that it was such a short labor, and actually both of us thought that His Masterpiece will be delivered many hours later. The doctor gave Rodney a pair of scissors to cut His Masterpiece's umblical cord which Rodney didn't have a chance to do that with our littlehon. I bet it would be a memorable experience for Rodney. I want to thank God for His strength that He has given me during my labor, and allowed me to experience child birth pain without any epidural. I didn't think I could make it without any epidural, and I want to give all glory unto God that indeed He has seen me through. The child birth pain hurts, but it hurts more when Jesus was hung on the cross! It really amazed me that Jesus has to go through such pain to save human race! I want give all glory unto God that His Masterpiece finally arrived 1221 (Dec 21st), 4 days before Christmas. Indeed, His Masterpiece is the best Christmas gift from God! I thank God that His Masterpiece will have both birthday and Christmas presents :)
I also want to thank God for my confinement nanny who is none other than my own husband, Rodney!! When I was having my littlehon, my whole family came for 1 month to help. However, we don't have any help this time. I want to thank God that when His Masterpiece arrived, Rodney was on holiday break till 2 Jan, and he is planning to take a month off work to take care of me, our littlehon, and His Masterpiece. I thank God for Rodney that he helps cook my confinement food, do laundry and dishes, cook and entertain our littlehon, help feed His Masterpiece, and change diaper during the nights. Though, both Rodney and I are sleep deprived, I want to thank God for His grace and strength that He has given us. All glory unto our God Almighty!
